Paul's blog

Archive for September, 2007

I just read something in the news that had me scratching my head. (Happens a lot!).

Before I share the link to the article with you, please .. humor me!

Please perform this little experiment: Have someone handcuff you, hands behind your back.

What? No handcuffs? Booooring!! Anyway, if you lent someone your handcuffs, or lost them, then just do this: put your hands behind your back.

Then, hook your two pinkies, so as to emulate the idea of having your hands handcuffed behind your back.

Don’t let go! Keep those pinkies hooked!

Done that?

Good!

Now … strangle yourself!

Then let me know what you think of this article!

I just read this article about the suicide of a man who tried to blackmail Tom Cruise for a little over a million bucks.


Said his lawyer:

I was greatly saddened by his loss and I found him to be a very kind man.

Look at some other things the man was ‘dealing’ in:

• Paris Hilton’s diaries
• photos of Paris Hilton in various stages of undress and other personal items that had been stolen from a storage locker
• a sex video of Dustin Diamond, who played Screech on “Saved by the Bell”
• a video of skater Tonya Harding’s wedding night
• topless shots of rescued U.S. Army POW Pfc. Jessica Lynch

So I guess bottom dwelling scum suckers can actually be ‘very kind’ people.

Who would’ve known…

If you can’t read this, click here

Gingrich: $30 million will get me into presidential race (link).

Yeah, me too!

In fact, I’ll do it for half of that!

Which I think is a bargain, if you look at Gingrich’ ideas:

I think, as a general rule, that levees should not break, that bridges should not fall, that students should actually learn.

(Note the ‘general’ … I guess he thinks that there are cases where levees should break, bridges should fall, and students should be kept dumb. Is he a politician or what? NEVER say something absolute, that they can pin you down on later!)

So… 15 million!

15 million and I will run. (Not that fast, though, and ignore the irrelevant fact that I’m not an American citizen .. don’t be so xenophobic, willya)

Have you ever ‘done’ ‘Penquin Milk’ also known as ‘White Out’, which, like the typo removal stuff is white and takes you ‘out’ fast?

I’m talking about C₁₂H₁₈O.

It’s better known as Propofol, and it’s amazing stuff.

“… This was the most unpleasant part of the day”, said she after she inserted the needle in my vein.

I was skeptical.

I still had a rather vague, yet distinct memory of the last time I got brutally invaded .. and it was far more ‘unpleasant’ than a simple needle being stuck in my arm.

And the prospect of someone potentially (and, as it turned out, in reality!) snipping and burning stuff from deep inside my body only fuelled my skepticism.

Soon I was wheeled into an operating room of sorts, nurses covered me with a warm blanket, the anesthesiologist came running in and asked me to ‘jump’ on my side and did his thing out of my sight.

“The doctor will be here soon” a nurse told me. Here we go, I thought, another long wait (last time I underwent this procedure I had been laying like this for 45 minutes, waiting for a doctor who got stuck in traffic). But no, not this time, almost immediately after that a nurse tapped me on the arm. “Doctor is here”, I expected her to say.

But no, instead, she said “You’re all done and fine. You’re in the recovery room now. Do you want some water?”

It was pretty amazing! I have had no sense of falling asleep. Maybe getting close to dozing off, and for a split second it was a bit disorientating to realize a full hour had gone by without my having had the sense of falling asleep.

A full hour. Gone. And unaccounted for.

But I swear, I don’t want it back. They can keep it. Along with the three polyps they snipped and burned off.

“.. do you have a living will?” asked the friendly lady at the other end of the phone line.

And especially because I do have a rather strong will to live, I found the question a bit disturbing, considering it was asked by an employee of the Sheridan Surgery Center, Melbourne, FL, where I have an appointment tomorrow morning at 8:15am. Were they planning for a screw up?

Anyway, tonight at 7 pm I weighed myself.

I just did that again, about 2 1/2 hours later.

I’m happy to share with you that I lost 4.8 pounds during that period!