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Weird stories - Paul's blog

Archive for the ‘Weird stories’ Category

PostHeaderIcon The End of the World

I bet you have all heard the story that the Mayan Calendar predicts that the world will end on December 12th, 2012. (If not: Google Mayan Calender 2010)
Ha Ha Ha, all those people will feel REALLY stupid when the world actually ends October 21st, 2011!
THAT will teach those 2012 Mayan-End-of-World-ers not to make stupid stuff up!
See: When the World REALLY ends

Now, the Mayan Calendar ends on December 12th, 2012, so if the end of a calendar is to be taken as an indication for this world’s demise, then MY calendar predicts the end of the world to be on December 31st, THIS year!
THAT will teach those people from WeCanKnow not to make up silly stuff!

So, anyway, I’m obviously not buying a 2011 calendars this year!

(Because they’ll be much cheaper in January 2011)

There’s one thing that really puzzles me, though:

The WeCanKnow people are obviously very devout Christians with a very literal view of the Bible. But despite their self confessed claim of a strictly  literal interpretation of the Bible, they take a quote from the Bible, and then say: “Err.. NAH, that’s not true”.
Granted, there are some passages in the Bible that are quite nebulous, pure gibberish, actually, so it’s to be expected that people disagree about their meaning.

The mentioned quote however, is not one of those; it’s one of the more straightforward, to-the-point, clear, unambiguous statements. In fact, the WeCanKnow people admit that all the different Christian factions that fight over differences in Biblical interpretations, agree on this one! It’s THAT clear: NOBODY knows when the Rapture will be. NOT EVEN JESUS!

Mark 12:32 (KJV) But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.

Then, given that one holds the Bible as the literal, infallible and inerrant word of an all-knowing and all-powerful Lord, how twisted a mind does one need, to then turn around, point at a VERY clear statement, and say: “Sorry, My Dear Omniscient Lord, but you’re wrong!”?

How can anyone say such a thing without myriads of very loud alarm bells going off and huge red flags being raised in the logic-and-reason department of his or her brain?

The mind boggles.

PostHeaderIcon Dogs attack alligator

 

Shamelessly stolen from, well, … actually, I forgot, but it’s all over the Internet.

Vicious Dog Pack Kills Gator in Florida

At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.

The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the ‘apex predator’ in its natural eco-system, can still fall victim to an implemented ‘team work’ strategy made possible due to the tight knit social structure and ‘survival of the fittest pack mentality’ bred into the canines over the last several hundreds of years by natural selection.

Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while the remainder of the pack prevents the beast from rolling and attacks the alligator’s soft underbelly.

See the attached remarkable photograph courtesy of Nature Magazine.

We strongly recommend that you preview this privately before determining if a younger audience should view the photo below.

View the photo

PostHeaderIcon Elementary, Dear Data




In episode 29 of the Star Trek series “The Next Generation”, the holodeck computer generates a character from the Sherlock Holmes novels by Arthur Conan Doyle: the villainous Professor Moriarty.

The interesting twist is that this holographically created image, at some point, starts to realize that he, in fact, IS a computer generated entity, and not the actual human being he is supposed to represent.

A remarkable feat! Only outdone by his success in actually leaving the holodeck.

I found that a very interesting episode, mostly because I have often thought along those lines myself (and who hasn’t?) .. what IF? What IF we were just part of a computer simulation? Could it be we’re just somebody’s (cruel) science project? Could it be that the universe as we perceive it, is just a hologram?

As I recently found out, scientifically, this is maybe not such a crazy nutjob idea after all.

The idea more or less started when the Dutch physicist (and Nobel laureate) Gerard van ‘t Hooft proposed his holographic principle, which, simply put, states that all information in a three dimensional space can be mapped onto a two dimensional boundary surface of that space. Or, to turn that around, the information described on a two dimensional surface can be projected in a three dimensional ‘holograph’.

The American scientist (who started his career at age thirteen as a plumber) Leonard Susskind developed that idea further.  If you find the idea of a holographic universe intriguing, you may consider getting yourself his book An Introduction To Black Holes, Information And The String Theory Revolution: The Holographic Universe [Update: Disclaimer: This book is NOT exactly a ‘popular science’ book: it’s chockful of ‘higher’ mathematics! WAY over my head.].

Or, for a quick introduction, read the August, 2003 article in Scientific American by Professor Jacob Bekenstein.

Fascinating stuff, and I wish I would understand ten percent of it. [Update: Now that I have thumbed through the above mentioned book – that I no longer recommend for lay persons like myself – I have to humbly adjust that percentage from 10 to 1]

 

“Computer … resume program!”
 
[Update: Instead of the book mentioned above I WOULD recommend two of Leonard Susskind’s books that ARE written for the lay person. See below.]

The Black Hole War: My Battle with Stephen Hawking to Make the World Safe for Quantum Mechanics

The Cosmic Landscape: String Theory and the Illusion of Intelligent Design

PostHeaderIcon Indiana Jones and the Communist Curse

 
Some critiques on the “Crystal Skull” Indiana Jones movie, from Russia.

Communist Party members in Russia want to ban Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull from local theaters, calling it anti-Soviet propaganda that distorts history.

(Anti-Soviet propaganda? Get with the program: the Soviet Union ceased to exist in 1991. As for distorting history: wait till you see the Matrix!)

“It’s rubbish,” said Sergei Malinkovich, a leader for the St. Peterburg Communist Party. “In 1957 the Communists did not run with crystal skulls throughout the U.S. Why should we agree to that sort of lie and let the West trick our youth?”

(Come on! It’s not nearly as bad as when we tricked them with the lies of Harry Potter)

“Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett [are] second-rate actors, serving as the running dogs of the CIA,” the Party member wrote in a blog entry. “We need to deprive these people of the right of entering the country.

(Why? Because Russia already HAS enough second rate actors?)

Source:

Communist Party members in St. Petersburg said on a web site this week that the Soviet Union in 1957 “did not send terrorists to the States,” but launched a satellite, “which evoked the admiration of the whole world.”

(Oh that Sputnik thing? Looks like a crystal skull to me!)

Moscow Communist lawmaker Andrei Andreyev said Saturday “it is very disturbing if talented directors want to provoke a new Cold War.”

(I bet he finds this disturbing! Considering who lost the previous one.)

Source:

“What galls is how together with America we defeated Hitler, and how we sympathized when Bin Laden hit them. But they go ahead and scare kids with Communists. These people have no shame,” said Viktor Perov, a Communist Party member in Russia’s second city of St. Petersburg.

(Scare kids with Communists? And WHO is accusing us of that? HAHAHAHAHA)

Other communists said the generation born after the 1991 collapse of the Soviet Union were being fed revisionist, Hollywood history. They advocated banning the Indiana Jones [movie] outright to prevent “ideological sabotage.”

(And which ideology exactly would be sabotaged by this work of pure fiction?)

“Our movie-goers are teenagers who are completely unaware of what happened in 1957,” St Peterburg Communist Party chief Sergei Malinkovich told Reuters.
“They will go to the cinema and will be sure that in 1957 we made trouble for the United States and almost started a nuclear war.”

(Your kids don’t know what happened in 1957? Blame on you, Russia! As for us making them think you guys almost started a nuclear war in 1957: True, that’s distorting history alright, we all know that didn’t really happen until 1962)

Vladimir Mukhin, another member of the local Communist Party, said in comments posted on the Internet site that he would ask Russia’s Culture Ministry to ban the film for its “anti-Soviet propaganda.”

(Soviet propaganda? See above. Having a Culture Ministry banning movies: way to go guys!)

Source:

Party leaders accused the actors Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett yesterday of promoting crude, anti-Soviet propaganda in their new film, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. They have urged Russian moviegoers to boycott the film and told Ford, 65, not to visit the country.

(Well, if Ford doesn’t get to go to Russia, then you don’t get to play in his next movie! So! There!)

The Communist Party’s ideology committee in Russia’s secondlargest city saw red over the plot. In an open letter, it declared: “Your work in this film is an insult to the Soviet and Russian people, who remember the difficult Fifties when our country was concluding its reconstruction after the Great War, but did not send merciless terrorists to the USA.” It said that Russians had loved Ford in previous serious roles ” which include a Soviet submarine commander in K-19: The Widowmaker – but went on: “You have no future in Russia any more. Speaking plainly, it is better for you not to come here. You will be beaten and despised.”

(Beaten and despised. Yes we have grown up a bit since the end of the cold war …)

The party’s central committee called Steven Spielberg’s film an attempt to “slander Soviet Communists” and poison the young against them. It called Ford and Blanchett “capitalist puppets”.

(Capitalist puppet: Psst, here in the west, that’s a compliment!)

Source:

“Our women don’t look like Nazis, but maybe Cate Blanchett was threatened by unemployment, so … she made this film,” Perov said.

(What DO Nazis look like?)

“The film is low-quality and would raise a smile if there wasn’t a danger of drawing into its orbit teenagers who know nothing about the 1950s,” Vladimir Mukhin, another member, said in comments on the Internet site.

(Low quality films raise smiles in Russia? As for your ignorant teenagers: why not TELL them about the fifties? Oh I know… I know.. it IS a bit embarrassing, but hey, they deserve to know!)

“Indians and aliens unite with Jones and his untrustworthy buddies to save the world from a Russian threat – what rubbish, simply a paranoid Churchillian fantasy,” Mukhin said.

(Right! Fantasy! Finaly one who ALMOST gets close!)

 

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: “O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.”
And God granted it.
Voltaire

*sigh*

I guess that’s what a life long exposure to state sponsored propaganda movies, presented as the truth and historically correct, does to the less enlightened minds: it apparently grows a blind spot for the genre of ‘FICTION‘.

 

To be sure:

Not all Russians are communists and apparently the above sentiments don’t quite represent the opinion of the average Russian:

The protests appeared to have little impact on the film’s commercial prospects. It was released on Thursday on 808 screens in Russia, a record for a Hollywood film.

PostHeaderIcon Airlines

I just got back from a trip to Amsterdam.

I booked my flight to Amsterdam with Northwest Airlines, the first leg (to Newark) was operated by Continental, the transatlantic leg by KLM.

Guess where my frequent flyer miles for this trip ended up.

Right! In my Delta Airlines account.

PostHeaderIcon A kind man …

I just read this article about the suicide of a man who tried to blackmail Tom Cruise for a little over a million bucks.


Said his lawyer:

I was greatly saddened by his loss and I found him to be a very kind man.

Look at some other things the man was ‘dealing’ in:

  • Paris Hilton’s diaries
  • photos of Paris Hilton in various stages of undress and other personal items that had been stolen from a storage locker
  • a sex video of Dustin Diamond, who played Screech on “Saved by the Bell”
  • a video of skater Tonya Harding’s wedding night
  • topless shots of rescued U.S. Army POW Pfc. Jessica Lynch

So I guess bottom dwelling scum suckers can actually be ‘very kind’ people.

Who would’ve known…

PostHeaderIcon Steorn, or ‘Am I psychic or what?’

SteornIn an earlier post (link) I wrote about the Irish company Steorn, who claim to have invented a working free energy device, I made several predictions, the first one being:

No demonstration of a working ‘free energy’ device will take place in July 2007 

Well, I got THAT one right (and fully expect the other ones to come true as well).

According to a statement on Steorn’s website (link):

… technical problems arose during the installation of the demonstration unit in the display case on Wednesday evening.

These problems were primarily due to excessive heat from the lighting in the main display area.

Attempts to replace those parts affected by the heat led to further failures and as a result we have to postpone the public demonstration until a future date 

As was to be expected, some really silly excuse was given for the failure. Sometimes it’s the weather, sometimes it’s too much metal in the room, sometimes it’s studio lights, sometimes it’s the presence of an unbeliever.

They went for the classical “it’s the lights” cop out.

*yawn*

Zero points for not even trying to come up with an original or somewhat ‘believable’ excuse, like “the government has stolen our device”.

This all is a text book example of the so common “we don’t understand it, so it must be super-natural” fallacy (since an over-unity device breaks all kinds of laws of nature, it is by definition super-natural).

Here’s a tip for you geniuses: turn off those lights!

And here’s another one: “when you find yourself  in a deep hole, stop digging”.

To top it off: “if something looks to be too good to be true … it probably is”

PostHeaderIcon Death threat

I received a death threat today.

Not a simple ‘drop dead!’ one, but a seriously meant one, complete with details as to how I should be put to death (in a non-pleasant fashion, I can assure you).

I’m scared. VERY scared.

More on it later, because for now … I’m leaving for a few days.

Packed my bags and I’m outa here. To a far away place in a desert.

Where I will ponder ‘freedom’.

And maybe take care of a few other things, but whatever THAT is … it stays there.

To be continued (if I survive this) …

PostHeaderIcon Magnut II

John Searl Effect Generator perpetuum mobilee


As promised: some more info on Professor John Searl, who invented the Searl-Effect Generator: a ‘free energy’ device.

The Professor was born May 2nd in 1932 in Berkshire, England.

At an early age he had some dreams that inspired him, as a teenager, to start working on the creation of a perpetuum mobile.

According to his biography (link) he started his professional career as an electrical apprentice, rewinding electric motors. He also worked as a projectionist in a cinema, helped out in a pharmacy, has been a trainee nurse, and, in 1983 retired … his last job … being a machine worker for 20 years.

Said biography does not include information about how John obtained a departmental or personal chair at a university, which would justify the title ‘professor’. Something that, to quote (out of context!) Christopher Hitchens: “ought to arouse suspicion in even the slowest minds”.

The professor has been jailed for 10 months for stealing electricity from the local power plant. By his own account he had not: he was just using the energy from his own ‘free energy’ generator … for years! According to witness accounts: the local power plant a) demolished his house but never found the device, but nevertheless,  b) stole it, put it on a plane, and was never seen again. (And then there’s the story of his wife burning down the whole place… which, wouldn’t you have it, destroyed all his research papers).

He is said to later have built TENS -if not more- of similar devices. Unfortunately, all these devices had the nasty side effect of having very strong anti-gravity properties, so they all flew off in space and were never seen again (sounds familiar?).

It is not known why this didn’t happen to the device that landed him in jail. It could be, that he nailed that first device to the floor, but it’s anyone’s guess why the genius professor chose not to do so with the ones that are now ‘halfway the galaxy’ (maybe that little ‘bolting down’ trick was in the lost research papers). *note to self: if I ever invent a free-energy device, make sure to bolt it firmly to the floor!*

In an interview, asked about the ‘space travel’ capacities of his SEG machines, the genius professor acknowledged these capabilities, and claimed that the device could get to the Moon in an hour, to Mars in several months, and reach space in 20 minutes.

Curious claims indeed. To the Moon in an hour means a top speed of way over 230,000 miles an hour. That’s impressive! That means it would take about 9 days to get from Earth to Mars … Yet we learn from the genius professor that THAT would take ‘months’ (which it would take with current technology). More puzzling is that it would take 20 minutes for the device to reach space. Space is considered to start at about 65 miles above sea level on Earth. So it would take 20 minutes to reach 65 miles, and the remaining, oh roughly, 230,000 miles to the Moon would take only twice that. Quite an acceleration! But why doesn’t that work for Mars? Somehow I’m getting the impression that the professor’s chair is NOT in astronomy.

I’m ALSO beginning to have some doubts about his other claims…

Anyway… there’s this American guy John Thomas, who started a company (Disc –link– ) to help John Searl build one more of his generators (of which, remember, he has built TENS already). For some reason, it is, apparently, not THAT easy anymore!

So.. they need YOUR money! And a lot of it.

Give!

Generously!

(Oh… and btw, I have some SUPERB swamp land here in Florida for sale, as well as the Brooklyn bridge!)

And hey .. I almost forgot.. the device has amazing healing properties too! 3rd degree burn wounds will disappear like snow before the sun… Professor John has the evidence! Look… ALL his burn scars are no longer there! But then, everybody knows that magnets have tremendous healing powers, right? *yawn*

What a shame there is this vaste governmental conspiracy to make sure that this device will never .. ever .. be produced! Imagine,  the government losing all those ‘oil’ profits… *sigh* .. but then, let’s face it .. history is very clear .. you CAN’T have a free energy device and NOT a government conspiracy to suppress it at the same time. Those two things ALWAYS go hand in hand…

PostHeaderIcon A new word …

NutmegThere is a genus of trees in Asia and Australia called Myristica. One of its species bears fruit from which seeds (nuts) a well known spice is extracted: nutmeg. This well known (at least to the Dutch, who dominated the nutmeg trade in the 17th century) spice should only be consumed in very modest quantities, as ingestion of larger quantities of nutmeg causes the onset of ‘nutmeg poisoning’, an acute psychiatric disorder marked by thought disorder.

This last quality made me think of a new word … pronounced megnut.

But spelled “magnut”.

What is a magnut?

A magnut is a nutcase whose psyciatric thought disorder makes him think he can produce free energy by employing magnets.

And I’d like to introduce such a magnut to you, presented to me by someone commenting on my recent post about ‘free energy’ (link):

This person left a comment, claiming that ‘we people’ “didn’t get it”, referring to free energy devices. A notion I wholeheartedly, totally and utterly agreed with.

Said (I will resist writing ‘sad’) person used the name ‘John Searle’, which didn’t ring a bell to me. But his reference included a link to a site called ‘www.searleffect.com’.

Curious as I am, I followed the link: The site is owned and operated by American John Thomas, who, in turn, is a ‘disciple’ of the British Professor John Ray Robert Searl.

Who claims to have invented a machine that produces .. you guessed it: free energy.

Do I think that my commenter actually IS John Thomas or John Searl? No, of course not. Not only would both men know how to spell ‘Searl’, but the comment was posted from the Netherlands, possibly not too far from the town of Amersfoort. (Of course, John Searle could be my commenter’s real name, but as a gambler… I would bet against that proposition).

Anyway .. I did some simple Internet research on Professor John Searl, who invented the Searl Effect Generator …

It turned up some VERY entertaining stuff, although, at the same time, one could consider this sad… REAL sad stuff.

I will write more about Professor *cough* John Searl in an upcoming post.

In the mean time: keep your money and check books ready, because .. well.. as you will learn, the DISC company needs a LOT of money to complete the construction of such a machine (that Professor *cough* John Searl has already made MANY times, showed, demonstrated and offered for free to many countries, and even was jailed, in his own country, for using it, instead of purchasing energy from the local power plant.

It’s a story as silly as it is funny as it is sad.

Professor *cough* John Searl is my next Nutcase of the Week!

MagnutAnd my first Magnut …


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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WP_Term::$object_id is deprecated in /homepages/29/d116676307/htdocs/claessen.com/blog/wp-includes/class-wp-term.php on line 198

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WP_Term::$object_id is deprecated in /homepages/29/d116676307/htdocs/claessen.com/blog/wp-includes/class-wp-term.php on line 198