Archive for February, 2007

PostHeaderIcon NCOTW: The hollow earth

Hollow EarthTime for another Nut Case Of The Week.

It’s always a tough choice to make, since there are so many of them, but today I selected Rodney M Cluff.

To make a long story short: Rodney has found the lost tribes of Israel! (For the longer, rambling, story, see Rodney’s website: link)

And where did Rodney find these folks? In our planet! Yes, that’s “in“, not “on“, because, you see, our planet (and most, if not all, other heavenly bodies as well) is hollow!

Now, I knew that there are people who, usually on religious grounds, to this day, still believe, and often think they can prove, that the sun revolves around the earth, that the earth is flat, that the earth is stationary and 6000 years young, that Noah’s flood created the Grand Canyon, and that Noah had dinosaurs aboard.

I also knew that the idea of a hollow earth has long been very popular, but I had no idea that there are still people who actually think this, or rather, are absolutely convinced of it. To the point that they’re actually organizing an expedition to the entrance of our hollow planet, somewhere near the north pole. If you’re interested: you can sign up for the expedition here: link.

Ofcourse, I applaud the fact that they are willing to test their hypothesis and actually setup an expedition! But I can hardly wait to hear their ‘excuses’ for not finding that entrance.

If there is going to be an expedition.

It wouldn’t be the first thing they made up!

And probably not the last thing either.

PostHeaderIcon This just in …

himself 

Dear Mr. Claessen;

Thank you for inquiring about the activities of the celebri-cat Mr. Clyde Claessen, Himself.  What follows is a summary of the activities of Himself on the 20th of February, 2007 as of 1400 (east coast time):

0900 – Himself is nestled down inside an eiderdown comforter in the middle of a king sized bed, sound asleep.

1000 – Same as 0900 – no visible signs of life.

1030 – Himself opens his eyes and yawns

1031 – Himself regrets opening his eyes and closes them again.

1100 – Himself thinks he might be getting hungry.

1115 – Himself is hungry enough to leave the big bed and visit the dish. While there, Himself decides to visit the box. He makes a mess with litter.

1120 – Himself coughs up a giant hairball on the living room rug … and then looks at mama as if to say ..THIS IS JUST FOR YOU!

1121 – Himself feels the need for a bit of variety – so he goes to the guest room and nestles down in the blankees and goes to sleep in the middle of a queen sized bed.

1230 – Himself hears mama making her lunch in the kitchen so he comes to investigate. Mama does not share, so Himself stalks off in a huff.

1235 – Himself visits the box and makes the stinkiest poop the world has ever known and then gets a drink of water and has two bites of the dry food.

1239 – Himself makes one last attempt on mama’s lunch – and manages to stick his stinkee butt in mama’s face in the process

1242 – Himself realizes it is nap time. He goes back to the big bed, which mama has conveniently made up just for him.

1243 – Himself nestles down inside the eiderdown comforter in the middle of the big bed and goes back to sleep.

1330 – Himself awakens, visits the dish, checks out the kitchen counter for crumbs or leavings and then goes to the guest room and nestles down in the blankees for another nap.

1400 – Himself is sleeping deeply and snoring!

Dawnell K. Claessen

PostHeaderIcon What’s the difference between a cult and a religion?

image of godI just read about a pastor here in Florida, who has “666” tattooed on his arm and claims to be God: link.

He knows he’s God, because he has had a dream in which angels told him that.

I don’t quite understand why God needs to be told by angels that he is God, but then, there’s so much that I don’t understand.

More interesting however is that his “claims of divinity have angered Christian leaders, who say he is a fake“.

And they know this how exactly?

Didn’t the religious leaders in (the ‘real’) Jesus’  time say exactly the same thing about Jesus?

(Oh, and by the way, the usual answer to the question raised in this post’s title is: “about one hundred years”)

PostHeaderIcon Deaf, blind and … dead

old tv<warning: rambling!> 

I just read something that struck me as the weirdest news I’ve read in days (and I do read a lot of weird stuff!).

Here’s what I read: link.

This is what I thought was weird:

a. He mummified in a year, due to the low humidity. Low humidity in New York? (and with a broken water pipe in his house!)

b. If I don’t pay my monthly electricity bill, I don’t get to watch TV for another year!

c. He was found in front of a blaring (deaf?) TV. And he has been blind for years?

But then, maybe it’s not all that weird after all.

First I think I once heard that they can’t cut off your water (you need it to survive) and electricity (that may kill someone). (Does anyone know if there’s some truth to this?)

Second, maybe using a TV as a radio isn’t that bad an idea after all. You get all the news channels, and for shows like Jeopardy, Deal or No Deal, and basically all sitcoms,  music and ‘talk’ shows… who needs to actually see anything? In most cases it’s probably preferable to not having to watch what you’re listening to! I know quite a few programs that I prefer to not even listen to! Actually, now that I think of it, the only movies you probably would want some visuals with are porn movies. And even those are usually horrible to watch (someone told me that)(and not really on TV, here in the US). Okay, maybe programs about art and nature too, but then again, they usually have very nice music too! And, unfortunately, these programs are rare. So in conclusion, TV programs that are actually worth watching are rare. Extremely rare.

Basically, our TV programs show us the taping of a radio show.

So, as for finding this blind man sitting in front of his TV? I grew up without TV, and the whole family would listen to certain radio programs. And we sat in front of the radio! All seven of us.

So, maybe, after all, not that weird at all.

Just sad.

Although… I’ve always said, that when it’s my time, I want to die in my sleep.

Maybe in front of a blaring TV isn’t that bad either…

(and it also may not be that uncommon:  link )

PostHeaderIcon 28 years after 10 years after

10 years afterI recently sent youtube video links to a good friend of mine.

It was about music we listened to in the sixties (yes, we’re that old, even though the friend in question is in denial).

One of the clips was of a studio rehearsal of the band “Ten Years After” with our then-God Alvin Lee on guitar.

My friend pointed out one of the comments. It was a short, one sentence, very simple comment. But I laughed my ass off!

It simply stated: “The bass player needs to switch to decaf

For maximum effect, turn OFF your sound (play it again WITH sound, it’s GOOD!) and play the clip with this comment in mind (the organ player is “on something” too, as my wife pointed out).

Update:
The clip I had here doesn’t work anymore. I found a link to the same session, but it takes a bit longer before it gets to the part of the over-enthousiastic bass-player.
Find it here: link

PostHeaderIcon It just works…

powerlineI’m SOOO thrilled.

I bought a gadget on eBay for $50: a pair of  Netgear powerline Ethernet adapters (link).

You plug one into a power outlet and connect it to your router. The other one you plug into any other outlet and run an Ethernet cable to your … whatever… pc, laptop, you name it. And you have a network connection. An alternative to wireless.

Why am I so thrilled? It’s just something you plug into a wall outlet, NOTHING to configure, NOTHING to install… and it just simply WORKS!

Compare THAT to that friggin’ webcam I installed and took me three nights and 3rd party software to get working! (http://70.118.43.165:8080/ select ‘javascript’ and you MAY catch one of my cats .. or both).

Disclaimer: I’m not saying that powerline is better than wireless. In fact, I also used a Buffalo wireless bridge that ALSO just worked out-of-the-box. No installation, no configuration, just plug it in and connect the Ethernet cables.

I LOVE stuff that ‘just works’ …

PostHeaderIcon Nutcases … or?

SoundYesterday we had a drink in a bar and while waiting for my Corona I read an ad in a local paper.
It was about a ‘seminar’ organized by the ‘Unity Church of Melbourne (FL)’ (no, this is not another ‘religion’ rant).
I rolled my eyes, let my wife read it and we both had a good laugh.

For $35 you can attend this presentation tonight here in Melbourne, where a certain Dr. Emoto will explain that (I doubt he will explain ‘how’) crystals in freezing water are bright and colorful when the water is subjected to ‘loving words’, as where water exposed to ‘negative thoughts’ will produce crystals with “asymetrical patterns with dull colors”.
He has established this astonishing and shocking fact by using high speed photography.
Why anyone needs high speed photography to watch water freeze is beyond me, but okay, I’m not a professional ‘water researcher’ like Dr. Emoto. (Since the freezing of water is a rather slow process, I COULD imagine that he would have used the exact opposite way of recording what is happening: time lapse photography! But high speed photography? That’s just plain nucking futs!)
Says Dr. Emoto:

“We must pay respect to water, and feel love and gratitude, and receive vibrations with a positive attitude. Then, water changes, you change and I change, because both you and I are water.” ~ Dr. Masaru Emoto, The True Power of Water.

The second speaker tonight is a certain Helena Reilly. She is an expert on “the process of transformation utilizing Scalarwave technology to release deep seated emotional, physical, mental and spiritual blockages“. She also works closely with best selling author Dr. Masaru Emoto (yes, the other guy from the seminar) in the co-creation and distribution of the “EmLloy” products.
I don’t know what scalar waves are but it all sounds impressive.
Tonight Helena Reilly will unveil the breakthrough Scalarwave technology of Voice Analysis Hydration System (VAHS).

No, I’m not making any of this up!
Read that add for yourself: link

I wondered what exactly this spectacular new invention would be all about, but I don’t want to spend $35 on finding out, so I did some googling.
I think I now know exactly what she will ‘unveil’ tonight: She will ‘unveil’ that you can actually buy this wonderful machine from them for the ridiculously low price of $4000. You can see it here: don’t forget to click on the picture to enlarge it: link

Yes, that’s $4000 for a computer speaker system, a cheap microphone, and some wires coiled around a bottle of water!

There’s an incredible amount of mumbojumbo and pseudo-scientific nonsense on their website: link.
If you can actually read all that without your bullshit detection kit’s bells and whistles going berzerk, then you need some education in critical thinking!

Please browse around and let me know what you think about these folks:
Nutcases or .. just plain old con artists?