Paul's blog

Recently I have accompanied guests on quite a few visits to the various theme parks in and around Orlando.
Yesterday we visited Disney’s Animal Kingdom. While I love the park, I always seem to forget, and find out too late, that other people, especially kids, are allowed entrance into the park as well. This is very unfortunate, since most of these people don’t have a clue as to how to behave around me.
I will deal with that in another post.

Anyway, that night I had a remarkable dream about a visit to a theme park.
It didn’t appear to be a Disney Park though. It had more of a ‘Holy Land’ theme.

It was laid out according to various Biblical books. It was huge, but I don’t recall all the details, just a few.
In the Genesis section there was a big tent where brothers could play Cain-and-Abel: they were given a blunt foreign object, and he who killed his brother was crowned “Cain” and got to go in unto his mother in order to prevent the human race from dying out right there and then, or so they were told.
Next to the tent was an Egyptian village, where the Nile ran through. Here parents could buy wicker baskets for their babies and place the baskets with their baby in the fast streaming Nile. A popular attraction.
Some houses in the village had bloody stains over the doors. This is where parents could have their first-borns killed by a deceptively real looking Archangel. Parents were complaining about the long lines.
Next to the village was a dry and hot desert-like maze, parents were encouraged to send their kids into the maze to learn about the ten commandments. They could pick up their kids at the other side of the park … 40 years from now.
The center of the Park was the Deuteronomy Plaza, where its most popular attraction was a terrace where parents, so instructed by Biblical law, could stone their children to death for disobedience.
Beyond this point the park would become considerably less crowded: for instance, only a few parents took advantage of experiencing first hand the pedagogical effects of shoving their kids into a lion den, with a fake Daniel and real lions.
The quarter called ‘Numbers’ though was closed. According to a big sign it was being subjected to a ‘re-count’.
But the real highlight was the New Testament part of the park, where, twice daily, one could witness a real, Florida-style botched capital punishment, involving real blood, actual guts and a hydraulic cross, that was so gruesome, real and authentic that even Mel Gibson would have lost his lunch over it. At the end of each crossing, the few remaining bystanders were given little wooden crosses dipped in real blood, to wear around their necks to show the rest of the world their remarkable lack of taste and decency. Proud like kids they showed eachother their bloody miniature torture devices, while they were talking about this deep sense of Love they were experiencing.
I must assume that the brain can only go sofar with weirdness in dreams, that if things get too insane, it has to give up, because here I woke up abruptly. And BOY, was I glad it was only a dream …

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