Paul's blog

Read in the news today (link):

Teens who drink alcohol could be caught three days later under a high school’s new testing policy for students.

The test, which will be given randomly to students at Pequannock Township High School, can detect whether alcohol was consumed up to 80 hours earlier.

I think this is wrong. Very wrong.

If I had a kid in that high school I would make it very clear to the school that I, as a parent, am responsible for raising my kid. And that the only thing I expect from the school is, that they teach my child reading, writing and arithmetic (and a few other things). And where I, as the parent, reserve the right to meddle in what my kid is being taught I do not want the school to meddle in how I raise my kid. It’s simply neither their task nor function.

What is next? Tests to check if they have smoked? Tests to see if they had sex? Tests to check if they got enough sleep? Tests to see if they have been to church? Lie detector tests?

Will the phrase “there will be a test tomorrow” take on a completely different meaning?

In my humble opinon, schools should only do what they were created for: to teach our kids certain skills. And they’d better focus on that, since they’re not doing that good a job compared to the rest of the world. I know quite a few high school graduates who can’t spell ‘definitely’ and don’t know how much 7 times 8 is. Maybe the school should test the teachers for alcohol use!

This is Big Brother stuff that we should allow nor condone. It, again, is a measure that erodes our privacy and freedom. Yes, high school kids have a right to privacy too.

Besides, so what if a few kids actually do consume, oh horror, some alcohol? It’s not like they killed someone. This all sounds like overreacting anyway. It’s like treating dandruff by decapitation.

And make no mistake: you and I are paying for these tests!

(And I’m not even going to mention that the test is far from perfect and rather prone to false positives: what is that going to do to a kid, having to see a counselor for having used regular mouthwash or eaten a nice salad with Balsamic vinegar. The stigmatic effect of false positives alone should be enough reason for abandoning this whole stupid, hare-brained idea. Okay, so I mentioned it anyway. Bite me!).

(For those who wondered: there is no ‘a’ in “definitely” and 7 times 8 is 56).

(And, no, do not click on that picture)

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