Warning: Constant ABSPATH already defined in /homepages/29/d116676307/htdocs/claessen.com/blog/wp-config.php on line 19

Warning: Constant WP_POST_REVISIONS already defined in /homepages/29/d116676307/htdocs/claessen.com/blog/wp-config.php on line 21

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /homepages/29/d116676307/htdocs/claessen.com/blog/wp-config.php:19) in /homepages/29/d116676307/htdocs/claessen.com/blog/wp-includes/feed-rss2.php on line 8
Out of the gene pool – Paul's blog http://claessen.com/blog Mon, 29 Dec 2014 22:57:47 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.3 A kind man … http://claessen.com/blog/?p=117 http://claessen.com/blog/?p=117#respond Sat, 29 Sep 2007 19:06:35 +0000 http://paulclaessen.com/blog/?p=117 I just read this article about the suicide of a man who tried to blackmail Tom Cruise for a little over a million bucks.


Said his lawyer:

I was greatly saddened by his loss and I found him to be a very kind man.

Look at some other things the man was ‘dealing’ in:

  • Paris Hilton’s diaries
  • photos of Paris Hilton in various stages of undress and other personal items that had been stolen from a storage locker
  • a sex video of Dustin Diamond, who played Screech on “Saved by the Bell”
  • a video of skater Tonya Harding’s wedding night
  • topless shots of rescued U.S. Army POW Pfc. Jessica Lynch

So I guess bottom dwelling scum suckers can actually be ‘very kind’ people.

Who would’ve known…

]]>
http://claessen.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=117 0
Martial Arts http://claessen.com/blog/?p=77 http://claessen.com/blog/?p=77#comments Fri, 23 Mar 2007 16:04:57 +0000 http://paulclaessen.com/blog/?p=77 kiai characterWhen I grew up there was this thing called Judo.
It was a form of martial art where two combattants would grab eachother by the lapels of their special white pj’s, followed by some pushing and pulling and then the tallest and heaviest guy would win.
There was also a far less popular form of martial art called Jiu Jitsu.
Since martial arts were basically taught, at that time, as a form of self defense, I must say that, to me, pj-pulling Judo was far less effective than Jiu Jitsu, which involved, amongst other things, poking your finger in your opponent’s eye and breaking his fingers.
Then Karate became popular and was soon followed by a whole gamut of martial art forms, some more bizarre than others: from hitting eachother over the head with a cane stick to kicking eachothers shins to a bloody pulp.
Most, if not all, involved unpronouncable names, lots of yelling and screaming, and jumping around a lot.
And none of them was as effective as a method of unarmed self defense as the much more down-to-earth ‘western’ method of firmly planting ones fist in ones opponent’s face, better known as boxing. But I don’t think boxing is considered a martial art.
Which, then, leaves us with the question ‘which is the most effective form of martial art?’.
This is, of course, a hotly debated topic amongst martial artists, and I’d like to introduce to you a case where a representative of one form challenges one of another.
This is about a Kiai master who wagers $5000 on a claim that he can beat ANY MMA master.
An MMA master accepted the challenge and I’ll point you to a video of the match.
But let me first explain the two different forms of martial art.
Kiai is fairly hard to explain, because there’s a lot of mumbojumbo involved about breathing, silent yelling, reflection and energy concentration.
Let me describe it this way: the Kiai master attacks (and defeats) his opponents by ‘manifesting, emitting and projecting his internal energy’ onto his opponents by waving his arms around, but without touching his opponents (the video starts with a demonstration of this!).
The MMA master (MMA stands for Mixed Martial Arts) on the other hand, has no qualms whatsoever when it comes to touching his opponent.

Watch the video of this challenge, and be amazed. Be VERY amazed.

See the video here: link

]]>
http://claessen.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=77 5
A hit man? A mishit-man! http://claessen.com/blog/?p=27 http://claessen.com/blog/?p=27#comments Sat, 16 Sep 2006 23:42:35 +0000 http://paulclaessen.com/blog/?p=27 hammerUsually, stories in which a person goes to jail, a woman is viciously attacked and another person dies, are very sad stories.

I guess the story I just read is a sad story, but I had to smile anway: the bad bastard went to jail, the dumb scumbag died, and the attacked woman came out on top.

Hiring your ex-custodian to kill your wife, because you don’t like the divorce proceedings? And then this tiny skinny brainiac goes to the wife’s house, uses the security codes he has been provided with by the almost-ex hubby while carrying a backpack with in it the first name of the ex husband and his cellphone number?

Following these smart moves, this same skinny ‘slight’ genius attacks the tall strong female nurse when she comes home.

If he had done some research, he probably would have realized that a ‘close combat’ weapon, like a claw hammer, shouldn’t have been the weapon of choice in this quite uneven match.

A hammer? This Einstein must have taken his boss’ suggestion to become a ‘hit’-man a little bit too literal.

Anyway, she took away his hammer and when the ‘assasin’ then tried to bite her to death (real pro!) she simply grabbed him by the throat and squeezed the life out of the varmint like a rotten banana.

I’m sure that’s not exactly how it was worded in the police report, nor how she experienced the whole ordeal, but that’s how I like to read it, and that IS what the outcome of it all was: Moron husband to jail, not likely to score high points in the divorce proceedings, the lady is safe AND got rid of the annoying husband for a LONG time, and the ‘hit man’ … out of the gene pool!

Yeah!

(read the article)

]]>
http://claessen.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=27 5
Out of the gene pool (1) http://claessen.com/blog/?p=17 http://claessen.com/blog/?p=17#comments Thu, 31 Aug 2006 00:59:34 +0000 http://paulclaessen.com/blog/?p=17 JesusIf you believe in God and in miracles, I have a tip for you:

Leave the miracles to God

He’s a trained professional. Don’t try this at home!

If you really have to do that water-trick, then follow the bible: the correct order is:

first part the seas, then do your crossing.

 

]]>
http://claessen.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=17 3